loving

I just got sucked into this movie called Angel Eyes. Dumb title, really good movie. I highly recommend it. It was about real life, basically, and how tough it can be and about loving. Jim Cavaziel (I just love him) was a very lonely man who had this secret that he wouldn't share with anyone. He lived a very strange life in a horrible apartment and just walked around town alone. (I won't tell you the secret so you will watch it find out for yourself.) And Jennifer Lopez (Okay I actually happen to think she is a great actress.) is this cop who falls in love with him and he with her...She tries to make him face the secret and deal with it, and he pushes her away because he isn't ready to face it. Anyway, at the end, she comes to a family party where everyone hates her because she hasn't forgiven her father for the abuse of her childhood. She makes a really beautiful gesture and leaves, only to find Jim outside waiting for her. There are some really good lines in this film, and here she says, "I'm sorry for pushing you. I realize now that things can be what they are. They are what they are." I was really struck by that line. To let things be what they are. I think we do try so hard. We want things to be Hollywood. I want a certain kind of life, a certain kind of man...And then he said that he had faced the issue and that he loved her...a Hollywood moment in itself, but still, I liked it. It was a classic story of the hero facing his flaws, his past, and allowing his Other to help him come to that transformation.

He still loved his deceased wife (i just gave a little away, sorry) but he loved this woman, too. And they each needed the other in different ways. Her dad and mom were still together, maybe there still was abuse happening there, but she showed them that she still cared, which helped her to move on. And he moved on because of her.

And I thought as they hugged at the end that he loved her because she was there. And I started to wonder: Am I loving the people who are here now in my life? I am longing so much for that man in my future... am I overlooking the men in my life now? Am I loving my roommate, my family, my friends...the way I want to be loved myself? Am I loving the life God has given me right now?