I am done

I am done trying to please
someone else
Some imagined or real man
Someone who I hope might take me home

I am home.
Home inside my jeans and freckles and blond hair
And tattooed foot
Pierced nose and sun-kissed shoulders

I am lovely.
I am done.
I am in love with myself.
And that is all I can do now.

I am sick and tired
Of looking
Of hoping of wanting of waiting
Time to fall in love with myself
To know who I am
To know what I want
Time to start looking at myself in the mirror
And loving what I see with my eyes
Instead someone else's imagined eyes.

I have come full circle
It hurt, but I have made it.
The disappointment stung
but I have endured...
I will not go away
Will not whither like the leaves on these fall trees.
I will not go away because I don't have his love.
I will not cease to exist
Cease to love others
And myself
And God.
I will not cease.

I have come full circle
Without a doubt
Clinging to the goodness of my own heart
Clinging to the knowledge that I am lovely.
That I am appealing
That I will grow in and upward
Shedding the misery of loneliness
I am done with it all...

I have come full circle
and I love what I have become.