shocked is the right word

I never really understood why it was called 'culture shock' until today. I almost did my taxes. Meaning: I got as far as turning on my car and pointing it in the direction of the tax office downtown when I felt this little vile acidic rupture start to shake my insides. I decided the best response to that would be: my cousins. If you knew my cousins and my aunt and uncle, you would know that they are the definition of 'laid-back'. In direct opposition to the home I grew up in, and the home where I am currently abiding, their place is ecclectic in style, comfy in repose, (?) and encouraging in the creative. In other words: it is my reprieve. The place I go when I want a break from it all (whatever 'it all' might be at the time) but also a fun place to procrastinate. A practice that seems to be welcome in this grand palace of leisure and chaos. Dogs greet me with terrific barks at the door: "Who do think you are? This is my place and I love it." they shout. I greet the house at large with "Hello! It's Katie" and regardless of the length of time since I have seen them, my call is always replied with cries of glee, my name in high pitches and a general, satisfying uproar. If that isn't therapy, I don't know what is.
Today they were throwing a birthday party for one of my aunt's inner city student kids. Purple streamers and lots of love were thrown out to her. I got to sit and watch, and be amused, in my jet lagged, culture shocked stupor. If I was going to be in shock, this was a good place to be. No demands, and no focus on me. Perfect.
The rest of the day was a haze. I tried to hold coherent conversations with my cousins and my cousin's boyfriend, all young, highly intelligent and creative people. But all that could come out was: "yeah, Hungary has the highest suicide rate in Europe." Why did I say that? What does that mean about my feelings about my time there? Was I depressed? Am I depressed? Did I think that was some morbidly impressive stat that I wanted to toss out there? Perplexing.
We ended the day in inner tubes, balancing wet dogs on our laps and laughing. And now, at 10:30 pm I am finally making my way out of the haze. Go figure.

on the way home

I flew home yesterday. A flight that should take around 10 hours took fifteen. But I was happily surprised in many ways, and the extra time was worth the wonder of those 5 hours. The most unexpected thing that happened came in the way of a nice man (around my dad's age, so no suspecting, silly) who invited me to go into town with him. We both, as it turned out, had a 5 hour layover in Frankfurt. A time that I wasn't looking forward to, ended up being a refreshing time talking with a kind American dad and husband, who was currently the high school principal at the International School of Budapest and who had been in international education for 30 years! His two kids both grew up in an international setting, and now were working in Switzerland and Moscow. Coincidence?? I think not! What a blessing to spend time with someone who really understood what i would be facing when I got home to the states after 2 years abroad. And what a treasure trove of knowledge I had stumbled on! He had so many encouraging things to say about teaching. He agreed with a lot of my ideas about my need and desire to go into the public schools in the US before I decide (if I ever do) to go overseas to teach again, this time in a salaried position. He was impressed that I had gone into a foreign school setting and had done well. He said that in my position I might even be able to be hired in some schools overseas and in the States even before I had completed my teaching certificate. He just had so much passion for teaching overseas, and had lived in Switzerland, Japan, Saudi Arabia, Brazil and now Budapest. Anyway, we talked over my schooling process that I was looking ahead to over cappucinos and croissants in sunny downtown Frankfurt, and I was having the time of my life. Pretty cool when these moments are simply dropped on my doorstep!
That's it for now. I have some jetlag to recover from, so a movie and popcorn is on tap :)