Smile the clouds are shining

The sun is playing games with me. Since my mood is directly associated to sunlight, it cannot make up its little 'mood-mind.'

This is my third day on my own in Budapest, and it has been interesting to say the least. I waver between trying to have this deeply intentional, spiritual time to get in touch with my thoughts and feelings in general, and spending time with God, to going to the local bookstore to see if the guy who was flirting with me might be there. (cause hey, that sure makes a girl feel good!), and just generally being a lump on a log. Clouds to sunlight to clouds again..
Time alone is a strange thing. When I don't have others to process things with, I can be thinking the most random thoughts and start believing these thoughts are fact. Like, I think I am getting old. I woke up this morning feeling really yucky and stiff, adn then when I looked in the mirror at McDonald's, I looked pale and pasty. Not good. Or maybe I am depressed and I don't know it! Uh oh! What do I do about that?! These are not thoughts you want going around in your head when you are on your own!

I have noticed the huge dichotomies to this city, and many such cities. Sometimes when I walk and watch, I jot down thoughts before I lose them to the myriad of other things running around in my mind. I wrote this this morning...

'These well-tailored, high-powered walking suits just seem silly to me. They run like rats in a cage, always moving but never getting anywhere. They race and maneuver and sweet-talk on their mobile telephones, desparately trying to get ahead. Meanwhile all around them, the world is quickly deteriorating and collapsing, and reaching out to him, with one wrinkled, out-stretched hand."

Cities are really strange this way. One man's most important endeavor in a day might be closing a 500,000 dollar deal. The next man hopelessly searches the rubbish bins for a morsel of food, near the first man's brand new Lexus. What do they think of each other?

Clouds to sunlight. Sunlight to clouds. In the end, it is not our own personal world that counts the most. and we can rest and ride and play in the clouds or in the sunshine of God's love. Depending on the day : )